ABC: Wow, that HD feed looks like *ass*. Seriously, guys. I know this is your first dive into the whole “high definition news coverage” arena, but don’t have such a crap-tastic looking signal. I can’t watch this.

CBS: Good looking feed, but Katie Couric’s on my 32″ Samsung. Next.

NBC: Now we’re talking. Best looking picture of the night, and good choice using the skybox rather than reporting from the floor like CBS and CNN. I understand ignoring McCaskill’s speech since you wanted to interview JFK’s spawn (and who really cares what Claire had to say anyway?) but WTF is with that standard definition camera at Ann Curry’s position? Shooting your most attractive attractive reporter with a substandard camera = genius.

CNN: Where to begin? First, enough with the invasion of the graphics. The “Gavel to Gavel” schedule on the right side of the screen was a nice touch at 5:00 PM, but at this point I really don’t need to know that John Legend performed live two hours ago. You can stick the remaining schedule down in your lower thirds, where you’re constantly scrolling the same “Convention Facts” that you were five hours ago while you also remind us that this is Day One of the convention; thanks, I’d forgotten already. Oh, and that damned “Sound from the Floor” fake VU meter on the left side: not only is it a stupid idea, but it doesn’t match up with either the podium microphone or the crowd noise level. Which means it was just put there to piss me off.

Furthermore, I understand CNN’s need for commentary rather than dry coverage; the latter is why God placed Brian Lamb on this planet. But don’t spend five minutes complaining about how the Democrats are blowing the evening’s program by putting on pointless speakers when you ignore every single one of them. Especially when you bitch that “you go from a moving Ted Kennedy tribute to Jim Leach” when Leach’s speech, a (admittedly dry and awkwardly delivered) stinging, accurate indictment of the problems in his own Republican Party was the most honest and relevant oration of the evening. That’s the message the Democrats wanted to send, and you ignored, Turners. And then criticized a lack of that message. Bra-frickin-vo, guys.

MSNBC, Fox News: No HD? Next.

(Sidenote: I flipped over at the end, so I’m not sure, but there’s a chance that Fox News is the only network other than C-SPAN to carry any of Claire McCaskill’s speech. If so, kudos to them. But don’t need a single spinning graphic, much less two of them.) (Again, not that anyone cares about McCaskill, but still.)

CSPAN: If only you were in high def. Pity. Mr. Lamb’s network is still the best, with no commercials and no commentary - just the bare convention, with enough locator shots and close-ups of random, wacky-dressed delegates to give you the feel of the convention. If the various cable operators haven’t ponied up the cash by 2012 to give C-SPAN HD capability then I’ll be declaring jihad on each and every one of them (starting with Comcast and Charter, of course).

(Well…commercials.  Plural.)

I’m glad we purchased a Malibu.  You see, gas pumps hate Chevrolets.  Something about gas mileage.  Anyway, if you have a Malibu the gas pump will sneak inside your car and turn up your radio and flip on your blinkers and wipers.  A minor annoyance; not dangerous.

But if you have an Aveo it’ll lock you out of your car, possibly opening you to thug attacks in shady neighborhoods.

And if you have a Cobalt it’ll FLATTEN YOUR TIRE.  You could DIE.

This just in (literally as I was typing this:) if you have a Silverado the pump will steal your lunch and throw it in the trash can.  But at least you’ll spot it before driving away; not too bad.

I think I remember this episode of Futurama.  Someone get Mom’s bra.

The blog has become droll and lifeless. With nothing going on, there’s plenty of time to write…but nothing to write about. Such is the ultimate irony of the online journal: when a lot happens, you’ve no time to write about it. When you’ve time to write, there’s nothing that’s worth the effort. Sad.

So I’ll just list everything that’s currently on our DirecTV HD DVR. Listed from oldest to newest.

The West Wing | BravoHD - The first six episodes of the series as telecast on Bravo a couple months ago. They never run The West Wing anymore. We didn’t even have Bravo in Effingham and I didn’t miss it since their once-common West Wing marathons just don’t happen that much. I caught this one and have been afraid to delete it; those DVD box sets are EXPENSIVE.

Ratatouille | Starz West HD - We haven’t bought the DVD yet, and this version is OAR HD. Looks gorgeous.

Employee of the Month | TMCHD - A guilty pleasure. It’s a really crappy movie, but the former retail worker in me enjoyed it. And for some reason I haven’t deleted it yet.

30 Rock | KSDK-DT - The last five episodes of season two.

The Office | KSDK-DT - The last six episodes of season four.

King of the Hill | KTVI-DT - The last six episodes of season eleven.

American Idol | KTVI-DT - The season seven finale. Again, I’m not sure why I haven’t deleted this.

Backbeat | TMCHD - The early 90’s film about the Beatles in Germany focused around Stuart Sutcliffe. Haven’t gotten around to it yet.

Cars | Starz Comedy HD - Like Ratatouille, we keep a beautiful HD copy of this on the box because it looks so damn good. Unlike Ratatouille, we actually own the DVD of this film. But the HD version looks better.

Transformers | Cinemax HD - We haven’t watched this yet. Maybe one year.

Trading Places | Cinemax West HD - I hadn’t seen this in years when Cinemax ran it. Then I recorded a later run in HD. And it’s still there.

Idiocracy | Cinemax HD - A highly underrated film from Mike Judge. Not as good as Office Space - not even close - but worth a watch if you haven’t seen it. It’s somewhat quotable, and it warms my heart to see more and more references to it popping up in the Fark forums.

Starz Inside: The Pixar Story | Starz Kids & Family HD - A tremendous documentary about Pixar produced by Starz. Worth keeping for a while.

Get Smart | WPXS-TV - Three episodes of the series recorded a couple weeks ago. Emily had never seen the show, so after we saw the movie I gave her a sample of it. I would delete them, but this is Kaos. We don’t delete things here. (No? Okay, let’s try another one.) I would delete them, but when I went to hit the button I missed it by…that much. (Still no?) Would you believe…I’m too lazy to delete them?

Donut Paradise | Travel Channel HD - A random hour-long show on donut places. Yeah. Hasn’t been watched yet; might not ever be. I miss the old specials the History Channel used to run (mostly on weekends) detailing the history of American cuisine, and this is no real substitute.

WWE Monday Night Raw | USAHD - Two recent episodes (the draft and the week after) that haven’t been deleted yet. This is why my DVR only has 13% capacity remaining.

Let’s Go To Prison | Cinemax HD - A supposedly wretched film that features Will Arnett and Dax Shepard and so I DVR’d it for some boring day. Odds it gets watched: meh.

300 | Cinemax HD - Haven’t seen it yet, so I figured I’d record it for later. Especially since it’s in HD and I’m canceling the premium channels before long. Odds it gets watched: good.

Road Trip | Discovery HD Theatre - Two recent episodes of the old Travel Channel series that DHT reruns sporadically. Love the show. Odds they get watched: probably tonight.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 | TLCHD - Four episodes I haven’t seen from their marathon last night. This show is highly addictive, and not just because I’m still trying to learn how to tell the three girls apart.

The Matrix | Cinemax West HD - Recording right now because A.) It’s The Matrix and 2.) It’s in HD. Duh.

For future reference, my season passes for this coming fall will most likely be: Chuck, King of the Hill, My Name is Earl, The Office, Pushing Daisies, SNL, The Simpsons, and 30 Rock.

One of the trends in TV production these days is to display your shot on a monitor…and then shoot the monitor. Local news stations do it by rolling video on a TV in set and using a crane cam to slide from it to the anchors. American Idol did it all season long by zooming in on the screen and not letting you know you’re watching them on a monitor through a camera…only to pull the crane cam back and show you what’s really going on.

Cute.

Too cute sometimes.

About a month ago Fox Sports Net Midwest crossed the line. During a Cardinals game they did a locator shot (a shot used to show you where you are, usually to bump into or out of commercial break) from outside of Busch Stadium. There was a small TV monitor sitting outside one of the main gates showing a replay of a play from earlier in the inning with the lights of Busch Stadium shining down upon it.

It was an innovative and original shot. The director, of course, immediately rode it to death, showing it constantly in and out of break. And then they took it too far:

Yes, in the middle of the inning…with Yadier Molina at bat…they went to the monitor-within-a-monitor outside. Did they show a pitch or any action this way? Thankfully no, but it’s the only way it could have gotten worse. After a couple games they put the shot back in the vault and I haven’t seen it yet which is probably for the best. This type of cute production can really spice up a broadcast, but you have to know when enough is enough.

I’m so glad that the judges on American Idol tonight were so in David Archuleta’s camp, crowning him King of Sucky Season Seven and just daring - DARING - America to vote the other way.

When Cook wins tomorrow night they’re going to be em-bare-assed.

Fun!

Baseball!

Spring training games start tomorrow - thanks to my XM Radio subscription there are three games I can listen to starting at noon Wednesday and say “I wish I was listening to the Cardinals instead.  Or even the Cubs.”  As useless as exhibition broadcasts featuring teams you care little about seem to be, at this point it’s BASEBALL and quite frankly I’ll take anything I can get.

ESPN has the Braves and Dodgers - in HD - Friday at noon.  Victory!

With the release of The Simpsons Movie on Friday, I was finally compelled to finish my long-forgotten Top Ten list of Simpsons episodes. Of course, the series continues to crank out new episodes, but given nothing worthy of such a list has appeared since season eight or nine, it’s easy to cast aside the latter half of the show’s episodes and focus on the glory days.

Honorable Mention: Cape Feare, Grade School Confidential, Homer the Great, Homer the Vigilante, Kamp Krusty, Lisa The Vegetarian, Lisa’s Wedding

The List!

pc. 2F02 - 6.5 - Sideshow Bob Roberts
oa. 9 Oct 94 - w. Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein

Oh, I’m only ten and I already got two mortal enemies!

While Cape Feare arguably sets the template for Sideshow Bob’s appearances, complete with the epic rake gag that is the epitome of Simpsons’ gags that shouldn’t be funny but is, Sideshow Bob Roberts raises the bar with the best collection of gags in any of Kelsey Grammar’s many worthwhile appearances. Bob’s out of prison, released after local Rush Limbaugh clone Birch Barlow uses his radio show to drive up Republican ire, and he’s gunning for Quimby’s job - and subsequent revenge against Bart. From the Matlock Expressway to the campaign ad skewing the revolving door prison under Mayor Quimby, the episode, like many to come on this list, is a rapid fire machine gun of priceless and witty jokes, culminating in Bob’s final courtroom outburst that apes “A Few Good Men” in a similar fashion as the rake gag: it goes just too far to be funny, then keeps going and re-enters the realm of hilarity. A highlight, as Homer debates voting for Bob candidates: “Hmm. I don’t agree with his Bart-killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy.”

pc. 2F17 - 7.2 - Radioactive Man
oa. 24 Sep 95 - w. John Schwartzwelder

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

The ad reading “FLIM SPRINGFIELD” says it all: this, like most good Simpsons episodes, is about the little things. Hollywood’s finally shooting a Radioactive Man movie, and Springfield’s unpretentious ad in a trade paper draws the producers to the small town where nothing, not even movie screws, can be marked up too much. Giving Milhouse a front-and-center role is always a good thing, and Schwartzwelder makes the most of it here, from the boys’ hats flying skyward to Bart’s tall boots, slicked up hair and chihuahua dog giving him the inch of growth he needed “plus several feet more.” The ending, with Mickey Rooney taking Milhouse’s role and the producers retreating broke back to Hollywood, is a little weak, but what comes before is nothing but classic Simpsons.

pc. 9F21 - 5.1 - Homer’s Barbershop Quartet
oa. 30 Sep 93 - w. Jeff Martin

We need a name that’s witty at first, but that seems less funny each time you hear it.

How about, “The Be Sharps?”

The story of the Be Sharps works so much better if you know the history of The Beatles, but even for someone like me who didn’t upon first (and subsequent thirty) viewings, the episode excels as the best of the old Simpsons standby: the flashback told to Bart and Lisa. Starting innocently enough at a flea market (”Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! Twenty six conversions in A.D. 46!”) where an old copy of Homer’s album is discovered, we learn about the Grammy-winning days of Skinner, Apu, Barney and Homer as well as their Pete Besting of Chief Wiggum. It’s an early offbeat story for the series, more typical of a double digit season than in the middle of the show’s prime, and is basically written off at the end as the children wonder why they’d never heard of their father’s success before. Unlike episodes a decade later that would explore The Simpsons’ unbelievable exploits, this tempered effort sprinkled with the usual tight gags works wonderfully.

pc. 2F19 - 6.21 - The PTA Disbands
oa. 16 Apr 95 - w. Jennifer Crittenden

Talking out of turn: that’s a paddling. Looking out the window: that’s a paddling. Staring at my sandals: that’s a paddling. Paddling the school canoe: oh, you better believe that’s a paddling.

You can never go wrong with Skinner and Krabapple, especially since Bart is usually in on the mix. Here the whole town gets in on the fun as the teachers, egged on by Bart’s secret machinations (”Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher.”,) go on strike and forces the parents of Springfield - including Marge - to become substitutes (”I meant the other booby trap!”) Utterly hilarious, from the cheap field trip at the beginning to the resolution of the strike. There are instances where Skinner and Krabapple are better together (namely Grade School Confidential, home to two of my favorite Simpsons lines (”Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.” and “We’re talking about S-E-X. In front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.” “Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down!”) but this episode offers more contributions from the supporting characters and delivers the best school-centered effort of the series’ run.

pc. 2F31 - 6.18 - A Star is Burns
oa. 5 Mar 95 - w. Ken Keeler

Are you saying “boo” or “Boo-urns”?

Why Matt Groening took his name off of this episode I’ll never understand. Yes, it is a cheap crossover between The Simpsons and Fox’s newly acquired The Critic, but with the golden script that Simpsons and Critic scribe Ken Keeler turned out, he should have wanted his credit plastered all over the screen. Marge suggests that Springfield hold a film festival, and recruits Jay Sherman to be the guest critic along with Homer, Marge, Quimby and Krusty (”Let’s just say it moved me. TO A BIGGER HOUSE!”) Jay gets to stay with The Simpsons, prompting belching contests, random performances of the Oscar Mayer wiener song and conversations with Marge’s sisters (”You badmouthed MacGyver, didn’t you?”) The episode peaks with the film festival, featuring Hans Moleman being nailed in the groin (”This contest is over! Give that man the $10,000!”,) Burns’ attempt to make himself a god, and Barney’s triumphant look at his alcoholism rewarded with a lifetime supply of Duff Beer (”Just hook it to my veins!”) I understand the hesitation to endorse a network-forced crossover, but the result here is another example of how The Simpsons, in its prime, could do what no other show on television could: turn trash into treasure.

pc. 1F16 - 5.18 - Burns’ Heir
oa. 14 Apr 94 - w. Jack Richdale

Bart: Hello, Mister…Kurns. I bad want…money now. Me sick.

Homer: Ooh, he card-reads good!

This is one of those episodes that sneaks up on you. Narrowing down my list of about thirty golden episodes into a compact ten, this fifth-season offering stayed towards the bottom at first until I gave it more and more thought - and then rewatched many of the candidates. It’s a rather simple plot, with Burns’ needing an heir to his fortune (since Smithers is to buried alive with him,) and Bart winning the prize by throwing rocks through Burns’ mansion windows (”Ooh, look! A bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.”) Tired of being repressed, Bart angrily leaves his family to live with Burns, only to grow homesick and give up his future fortune. So many classic gags are found here, from the now famous THX open (that they HAVE to run before the movie, but I just know they won’t) to Burns singing “Let’s all go to the lobby” to the entire, hilarious heir audition sequence culminating in Bart getting the boot. The episode has a solid ending, as well, with Bart not just leaving Burns but having him “move to the left” over the trap door in his office, sending him hurtling downwards towards Lenny’s carcass. An often forgotten classic.

Now we reach the Golden Four. Making this list, everything beneath this point - numbers five and down - were up for debate. But there’s no question about the top four episodes, starting with the single best gag machine gun in the show’s run.

pc. 2F06 - 6.9 - Homer Badman
oa. 27 Nov 04 - w. Greg Daniels

No, Mr. Simpson, that’s sexual harassment. If you keep it up, I’ll yell so loud the whole country will hear!

With a *man* in the White House? Not likely!

Greg Daniels is close to deity, having given contributed to The Simpsons and co-created King of the Hill and The Office (US edition.) Here he does his best work, introducing Homer to the land of sexual harassment and giving us the height of the series’ ability to fire off a billion rounds of funny. Homer didn’t mean to grab the babysitter’s behind, of course; he was just trying to grab the gummy Venus de Milo. Now there’s protestors in the Simpsons’ yard, helicopters overhead offering twenty-four hour coverage (”Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers.” “Hey, that’s a half-truth!”) and the family results to public access television to plea for understanding - only to run into Willie, who has a tape proving Homer’s innocence (”He’s a foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least expect it. He’s “Rowdy Roddy Peeper!”) If the candy convention, with Homer’s slo-mo run from the exploding pop rocks and soda combo, isn’t funny enough, we get the Rock Bottom interview with the clock on the wall revealing the obviously chopped up video. Everything here is perfect.

pc. 2F22 - 6.24 - Lemon of Troy
oa. 14 May 95 - w. Brent Forrester

We’re going up to the bluffs to paint “Springfield sucks” in huge letters. That way, whenever they look into Shelbyville, they will realize that they suck.

“Lemon of Troy” may stand out to some on this list, as it’s rarely considered one of the gems of The Simpsons’ run. It’s rare episode that really focuses on the children of the town, as the evil Shelbyvillian brats steal the town’s beloved lemon tree, robbing the kids of Springfield of their main source of summer revenue: lemonade! We learn the origins of the two towns (Shelbyville’s founders wanted to love their cousins, apparently,) and Bart and company go undercover and in disguise to rescue their beloved tree. The interaction between the kids is priceless, with Nelson and Martin stuck together (”Team Discovery Channel!”) while Milhouse is discovered and finds his double (”So this is what it sounds like…when doves cry!”) Bart’s almost captured but evades his counterparts only to find a lemon shaped rock (”There’s a lemon behind that rock!”) and then the tree, trapped in the an impound lot (”The impenetrable fortress of suburbia!”) Homer and the parents roll into town (in Flanders’ new RV) to rescue the kids and the tree, and Springfield triumphs again! While the episode lacks the outright hilarity of most of its fellow best, it’s still damn funny and has a sweet, original plot that makes the episode standout from most at this point in its run. With different landscapes and less contribution from the adults, it almost feels like a different series, and an occasional change can be a good thing.

pc. 9F15 - 4.17 - Last Exit to Springfield
oa. 11 Mar 93 - w. Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky

Now Homer, I know what you’re thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now, it doesn’t take a “whiz” to know that you’re looking out for “Number One”. Well, listen to me, and you’ll make a big splash very soon.

“Last Exit to Springfield” is usually regarded as the best in the series’ run, and when I see that I put up little argument. While not my choice for best episode, is the perfect example of The Simpsons at its height, with a believable, tightly written episode still chock full of throwaway gags. The union contract at the plant is up for renewal, and Burns wants to cut the dental plan. Unfortunately “Lisa needs braces,” which means Homer needs to keep the “dental plan.” He fights back, earning the leadership of the union, and strike were declared. Along the way, Lisa gets fitted for a mouthpiece not covered by insurance in a scene brilliantly lifted from Tim Burton’s Batman, we flash back to Burns’ youth at the “atom smashing plant,” Homer confronts “hired goons,” a meek-voice malcontent causes dissention at the union meetings, and Burns runs the plant by himself before realizing, in the style of the Grinch, that he can’t break the spirit of the union members. It’s a simple plot done in the Simpsons style, and it works more brilliantly than I can condense into words. You just have to watch it.

pc. 9F10 - 4.12 - Marge vs. the Monorail
oa. 14 Jan 94 - w. Conan O’Brien

Marge: Homer, there’s a man here who thinks he can help you.

Homer: Batman?

Marge: No, he’s a scientist.

Homer: Batman’s a scientist?

Marge: It’s not Batman!

While “Last Exit to Springfield” may be the best exampe of The Simpsons’ ability to take a simple plot and turn it into a hilarious and memorable twenty-two minutes, “Marge vs. the Monorail” is the show at its offbeat best. Thanks to Mr. Burns’ evil, the town has money to spend, and while Marge wants to fix up main street thanks to “people” driving with snow tires on and pianos strapped to their roof (”Hee hee, look at that pavement fly!”) the town feels differently after Lyle Lanley shows up and sings one of the show’s classic showtunes extolling the virtues of a monorail. While some have their doubts, especially Lisa (”I’d like you to explain why we should build a mass transit system in a small town with a centralized population,”) Lanley wins them all over and randomly makes Homer the conductor, sealing the town’s fate. The episode just. won’t. stop. with the funny, starting with Burns as Hannibal Lector, continuing with the “Lanley Institute” gag and the rodents in the fire extinguisher door (”I call the big one bitey!”,) all the way through the conclusion with Homer using the monorail’s “M” as an anchor (”Think harder, Homer!”) while guest star Leonard Nimoy (”Weren’t you one of the Little Rascals?”) beams away. As Marge details some of the town’s other follies at the end (”The escalator to nowhere…”) we’re out of breath; the episode flies by, providing us with the greatest laughs of the series. This is The Simpsons at its outlandish best.

If anyone knows how to NOT double or triple bogey on the ninth in Wii Golf, please educate me. My best on the nine-hole course is five-over, and I’ve gone into the last hole with par four or five times only to finish under my record. In other words, the hole sucks it and sucks it hard.

If you caught the season finale of King of the Hill tonight where Luanne got married, it was obviously meant to be a series finale. The crowd at the wedding was complete with a slew of characters from throughout the series’ history, including the social worker from the pilot, and the episode ended with Hank and Friends in the alley, the last word spoken being Hank’s “Yup” before a fade to black. It would have made a decent wrap-up for the show if Fox hadn’t renewed it for another season out of the blue. Silly network.

If you want to be blown away by a piece of audio, listen to the recording on this page. It says you need headphones, and they’re 100% right. It’s amazing.

Tuesday’s episode of Gilmore Girls is the last.

The show is one of my all time favorites, and in my last several years of college was one of the highlights of my week. For the first few seasons of the show it was the best thing on television, and even in the last several years, as the quality slipped, it was still far better than most other offerings. Like a lot of shows, the plots got thinner in later years, characters changed in odd ways in a desperate attempt to keep them relevant, and the universe folded in on itself as Rory became a bit of a bitch while Jess became awesome. That said, when the show was at its best there was nothing better.

With the series finale within twenty-four hours, I sat down to do a top ten episode list and I found that every episode except one came from the outstanding first season. This isn’t to say that other years weren’t good, particularly the second, which had a few offerings that almost mad the cut. It’s just that the initial twenty-one segments of the series were a magic arc cut to precision by Amy-Sherman Palladino, and the freshness of the show motivated the cast to give the tightly woven scripts their best efforts. Never do you see Alexis Bledel smile like you do in season one, and I can’t blame her. Seasons two through four were outstanding, and five through six weren’t bad. (Seven wasn’t even horrible, just not up to the standard the rest set.) It’s just that season one was, as I said, magic. Tremendous. Worth watching, in order, over and over again.

Original Air Date: 8 March 01
The first of many men that Emily forces upon Lorelai, coupled with Dean showing Rory the car he’s building for her - and promptly breaking up with her when he says he loves her and she can’t say it back (though her response is superior to “It’s nice that you think that.”) While the episode works better in tandem with the next segment (”The Breakup, Part 2″,) standing alone it’s still a standout offering, particularly for the act one scenes showing the continuing development of Rory and Dean’s relationship. The chemistry they showed throughout season one was remarkable at times, and “Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers” serves as an excellent example.

Original Air Date: 10 May 01
One thing Gilmore Girls always excelled at was season finales, and like everything else in the series, season one did it best. Similar to that of David Chase’s first season of The Sopranos, the arc that series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino crafted for the debut year of the show was outstanding, with its ultimate hour drawing together threads that rekindled Rory and Dean’s romance, setup friction at school for the younger Gilmore’s upcoming junior year, and upgraded Lorelai’s dalliance with Max while simultaneously sewing more seeds into the Luke and Lorelai coupling. The two scenes in the final act where Dean meets Rory at Chilton and Lorelai is enveloped by one-thousand daisies stand out as Lauren Graham absolutely destroys all other actors with her reactions as she circles the lobby of the Independence Inn.

Original Air Date: 5 Oct 00
Few TV series find themselves on such firm footing from the get-go. Amy Sherman-Palladino had imagined her universe so well that everything seems natural from the start as we meet the two Lorelais, the elder flirting with Luke over coffee while the younger finds herself more and more disenfranchised at Stars Hollow High. The series really gets things rolling when Lorelai goes to visit her parents: as she sits on the wheel well of her Jeep, sipping her coffee as she stares away from the Gilmore Mansion in despair, we don’t have to be told about the icy relationship between her and her parents. Her face says it all.

Original Air Date: 14 Dec 00
This episode is pure magic. Lorelai tells Rory about the magic of snow, and sure enough it comes true as she finds Max, whom she’s had no luck meeting up with, stranded in Stars Hollow as the white gold falls. Meanwhile, Rory’s trapped in Hartford, giving her a chance to bond with the grandparents, something we often forget she’s had no opportunity to do in her sixteen years. Again Lauren Graham steals the show, but Alexis Bledel shows some chops as well as she learns more about her mother’s history.

Original Air Date: 15 Feb 01
As sure as the weather turns cold in the fall, as sure as Luke wears a crappy flannel shirt and as sure as Taylor is condescending in a bold choice of sweater, Paris and Rory have a fight every year. Every. Year. And every year, it annoys the hell out of me. “Concert Interruptus” is the beginning of their friendship, as Ms. Geller along with Madeline and Louise head to Rory’s to work on a group project and all end up at a Bangles’ concert in New York with Lorelai and Sookie. The casual way that Rory starts to fit in seems natural, as does Lorelai’s conversation at the concert with her best friend as she explores Luke’s romantic history. Lorelai fiddling with the garage sale items strewn around the Gilmore house as the kids study are one of the many little things that help provide the show with a sort of authenticity many series lack, as is the actual concert footage of The Bangles rather than audio lifted straight from the original album.

Original Air Date: 15 Mar 01
Rory refuses to “wallow” over her breakup with Dean, which upsets Lorelai. Luke shows the first signs of being a father figure to Rory by quite publicly not allowing Dean to run into his ex. And Lorelai convinces Rory to go to a big Chilton party where Paris steals the episode, Lane meets a cute Korean guy, and everyone dances to Elvis Costello. Damn, this show is awesome. Oh, and Lorelai has sex with Max, but whatever.

Original Air Date: 12 Nov 02
The only episode on this list from outside the first season comes our way from the third, as Rory and Dean’s two-year relationship unravels and Jess, being a complete dick about everything, enters the picture. What to love here is the most awesomely offbeat idea ever to grace the streets of Stars Hollow: the all-night dance marathon, complete with period dress. Besides the fun of the Girls trying to out-Kirk Kirk, we get Dean’s quite justified dumping of the younger Gilmore and the accompanying visual of Kirk circling the dance floor with his trophy to the tune of “Gonna Fly Now” while Lorelai consoles her daughter. While many very good episodes would follow, this is the last truly great episode of the series.

Original Air Date: 12 Oct 00
Lorelai in Daisy Dukes and boots: just another first day at a private prep school. Neither Girl is ready for Rory’s introduction to Chilton, especially when Emily shows up to accompany her daughter to her meeting with the headmaster. The episode acts almost as part two of the pilot, but it’s the better half with more friction between Emily and Lorelai, Rory meeting Paris and the gang and the rest of the crucial details of the Gilmore family settling in before the next few episodes of doggy paddling in place before the fun would kick into gear.

Original Air Date: 22 Feb 01
Dean’s never seen The Donna Reed Show, and when the Girls learn he likes some of the ideals (woman cooking for the man, who runs the household) of the show they are mocking, Rory decides to put on a show for him while catsitting next door. Meanwhile, Lorelai has animal problems at home that require Luke’s presence, setting up a quasi-date for the two as they search the Gilmore house for a lost baby chick. If the episode wasn’t good enough, Rory decides that perhaps some details of the Donna Reed lifestyle isn’t too imperfect, enjoying the proper evening the two spend together and later finding out that Reed was a sort of trendsetter for women in entertainment, holding more power behind the scenes than she though. A tremendous episode that entertains, furthers the relationships and even educates. Wow.

Original Air Date: 20 Dec 00
Rory has her name in the episode, but Lauren Graham, as usual, steals the show. Chilton’s having a dance, and Emily persuades her granddaughter to go, introducing Dean to the masses as Paris freaks, Tristan gets jealous and Madeline and Louise gain respect for their classmate. Meanwhile, Lorelai tweaks her back and is stuck on the couch, causing Emily, down to see Rory off to the dance, to stay to take care of her - and here’s where Graham and Kelly Bishop put on a damned clinic. Apart but for fleeting hours for sixteen years, mother and daughter bond as Emily’s maternal instincts return and Lorelai lets her guard down. Then Rory falls asleep with Dean away from home, Lorelai gets pissed, she and Emily throwdown, and then Rory returns for a scolding from mother. All this is good enough without Rory’s additional bonding with Dean, further concreting this as the strongest relationship Rory would have in the series’ run. Easily the best episode of the series, and the last ten minutes is nothing short of amazing.

Between an hour a day on Comedy Central, an hour a day on a local channel, and my season one and two DVDs, I’ve been watching Scrubs, like, practically non-stop this week. This is far from a bad thing on the surface, until I realize that for about an hour after I watch an episode (or two) half of what I say is said in the manner of Dr. Cox.

Especially when I realize that most of what I say during the day is only heard by myself.

If someone wants me to sub for them one of these days, that would be great.

That said, I have gotten work done on my Route 66 site; more pictures, a face lift to the front, and I might even get my history pages written for it before long. Yay free time!

Oh yeah, wedding programs, too. Fun.