In a dream late last night I found myself walking outside of a rather large hotel, descending down the large front steps onto a beach; think the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, Michigan (it’s, like, big, people) if there was a beach in front of it.

I was passed by an older-middle aged man who, as he walked by, commented to me that “I am a lineman for the county.” This prompted me to loudly sing the rest of the first verse of “Wichita Lineman” to him as he sprinted off to do his lineman duties down on the sand.

Glen Campbell is invading my dreams. Maybe if I stopped playing that song everytime I sign off at midnight he would cease the attack.

I’m so glad that the judges on American Idol tonight were so in David Archuleta’s camp, crowning him King of Sucky Season Seven and just daring - DARING - America to vote the other way.

When Cook wins tomorrow night they’re going to be em-bare-assed.

Fun!

Emily and I spent the weekend in the Mound City with crafts and minstrels.

Saturday we cruised to Kimmswick, a small village south of the city along the Mississippi River.  Many early homes and buildings have been preserved, and the historic town serves a mini craft and antique mall.  Mother and I had not been together for many a year, so we took my wife to revel in the treasures.  She walked away with a bracelet made of soda bottle caps (Northern Illinois Translation: “pop bottle caps”) that is quite fetching, particularly due to the presence of a Ski cap.

The main reason behind our trip downstate was a Christmas present from my mother: tickets to the Beatles tribute band “Rain” at the Fox on Sunday.  Previously we saw American English in Hillsboro (pictures @ Facebook) and Downers Grove, and Emily caught both British Export and the Classical Mystery Tour without her boy, but this was a chance to see yet another group - and one that boasted to have some of the best production values of all the various troupes.

While it was an excellent show, the group couldn’t touch the quality of American English.  The production values were top notch as advertised, with video boards showing clips and classic commercials to fill the gaps during the four quick costume changes, and the giant screen behind the band added visuals that supported the music quite well (along with showing mocked versions of album covers featuring the members of the modern cover band.)  Playing mostly mainstream hits, though, the band’s voices couldn’t match the authenticity found with American English (especially with Paul) even if the instrumentation was quite accurate.  A very good show, just not what AE can provide, and the playlist was far too limited

Lots and lots of pictures from the show: Facebook | Flickr

Hans Zimmer’s beefed-up movie version of The Simpsons’ theme is available on iTunes.

Worth the buck it costs to download? UM YEAH WHY DID YOU ASK ME THIS.

Best part: the drums at the beginning that come in just before the chorus. The strings get a little overloaded at the end, but other than that it’s a worthy improvement as it makes it onto the big screen.

Rachel put up this meme on her blog yesterday, and although I rarely do these silly things I felt a desire to quickly put iTunes to use. So here you go.IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend your cool…

Opening Credits:
“She Runs Away” - Duncan Sheik

Waking Up:
“Drive My Car/Word/What You’re Doing (’Love’ Remix FTW!)” - The Beatles

First Day At School:
“When I See You Smile” - Bad English

Falling In Love:
“Time” - Hootie and the Blowfish

Fight Song:
“Working Class Hero” - John Lennon

Breaking Up:
“Maggie Mae” - The Beatles

Prom:
“Theme From Ghost World” (Piano Instrumental) - David Kitay
LMAO

Life:
“I’m Alright (Theme from Caddy Shack)” - Kenny Loggins

Mental Breakdown:
“Traces” - The Classics IV
PERFECT

Driving:
“Down Under” - Men At Work

Flashback:
“Crocodile Rock” - Elton John
Given the first words of the song are “I remember when…” - friggin’ PERFECT

Wedding:
“Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel)” - Billy Joel

Birth of Child:
“Talking in Your Sleep” - The Romantics

Final Battle:
“Do Wah Diddy Diddy” - Manfred Mann
LMAO AGAIN

Death Scene:
“Taxman (Parody)” - Peter Stork
Don’t ask.

Funeral Song:
“For You Blue” - The Beatles

End Credit:
“Steal My Sunshine” - Len

(While editing Beatles songs with my own voice as parodies…)

Emily: Oh, you’re always blotting out Paul McCartney and George Harrison!
Peter: I’m sorry, baby.
Emily: It’s okay. You smell so much better than them.
Peter: (pause) How would you know?

Emily: Well, George Harrison is dead.

I absolutely adore worship West Side Story, so it’s perfectly excuseable for me to dance around and lip sync “Gee, Officer Krupke” while I’m hanging up my laundry. No problem there.

But “I Feel Pretty?” No excuse! (What mirror? Where?)

Furthermore, there is NO excuse for CNBC to bump up Jim Cramer one hour tonight to make room for Michael friggin’ Eisner, and force me to miss Mad Money. That makes two straight posts with a Cramer reference; no wonder my desk chair is hiding in the closet.

I NEED A COPY OF THE THEME FROM “WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO.”

The game show. From PBS.

I was eleven.

OMG.

Rockapella put their AWESOME AWESOME theme song on a CD once upon a time, but Amazon wants $40 for it. For just one song. (There are, like, four others on the disc, but they don’t count.) Nothing on iTunes save two concert versions.

I NEED THIS NOW - CRAAAAAVE.

I found a cheap version on a flash page, but it’s not the best quality, and it skips at the beginning. The only thing I could really do with it is…is…

is…

OMG BEST RINGTONE EVAR!!!!!1

Oh my.

I made the mistake of recording some XM jingles off of 60s on 6, and now I’m busy playing DJ with my meager selection of oldies mp3s.

This is why I shouldn’t be allowed days off.

First, I must profess my love for Chris Parnell, and my growing appreciation for Andy Samberg. The former has been on Saturday Night Live for a few years (even being fired and rehired,) while Andy is a new comer. Together, they form one hell of a rap duo.

Here I thought that nothing this season (of which I’ve seen very little) would top the Glengarry Glen Ross skit from last weekend featuring Alec Baldwin reprising his role from the David Mamet-scripted film, this time laying into Santa’s elves (”Second place, a box of candy canes. Third place, you’re fired!.” But no, Parnell just had to go old skool.

I’ve always loved his raps, particularly his ode to Kirstin Dunst a few years ago. This weekend’s topped that by a large margin, with Samberg joining him in rapping “The Chronic (What?) -cles of Narnia,” perhaps the whitest thing ever set to a beat. Our topics included:

• Cupcakes
• Yahoo! Maps vs Mapquest
• The use of $10 bills (”Hamiltons”) to impress the ladies
• Movie preshow trivia slides
• Of course, The Chronicles of Narnia

Such brilliance. I laughed, I cried, I begged my friend to throw his TiVo’d copy onto DVD for me, since watching it here will not suffice.