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Peter’s Oscar Picks: 2008
Usually my call for Best Picture comes the same day as the nominations are announced, mostly because of my Big Old Oscar Theory, such named because I thought of it one day and never tried to conjure up something better. Over ten years I only missed once - picking Babel last year over The Departed - nailing such underdogs along the way as Crash and Shakespeare in Love before the mainstream media started picking up on their potential as an underdog spoiler. Yeah, I’m good. It’s last minute, but for this year go with No Country For Old Men edging out There Will be Blood. Juno’s a longshot, and I’ll be rooting for it, but don’t count on it. My skills never crossed over to lesser categories, but I’ll make picks anyway:
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Film Review: Bella
There are two films inside of Bella, one of which wants to tell a cute, joyful story about a Hispanic family in New York City. The other wants to preach to us about the evils of abortion, and in the limited amount of time that latter consumes it still manages to fatally injure the appeal of the first. Jose is the head chef at his brother Manny’s restaurant, and when one day Nina, a waitress, shows up late for the third time in a week and is unceremoniously fired. Abandoning his kitchen duties to follow her, he finds out that she was late because she was late; stopping to purchase a home pregnancy test before her shift, she felt it was more important to tend to her needs than her boss’s and the result is her termination. Jose sympathizes, especially when he finds out she has no plans to keep the child, and as she frets over her sudden loss of income and growth of stomach he quickly finds her a new job at another restaurant and decides to treat her to a whirlwind day around the city. Three levels exist to the film. The first is simple and quite entertaining, as Jose and Nina, co-workers for quite some time, really get to know each other for the first time. Tooling around the city, thy eventually end up at the house of Jose’s parents and time spent with his colorful mama and papa. The dinner that follows is one of those fun, loving gatherings with a lot of good food (the scents float off the screen) and a little bit of excellent dancing, with Jose’s family, especially his father, comprised of your typical close-knit ethnic folk that seem to exist only in fiction yet simultaneously, somehow, feel as real as our closest friends; think My Big Fat Greek Wedding, only more realistic and interesting. These are well-written, exquisitely played characters that are a joy to spend time with, and in as little time as we’re gifted to spend with them they establish themselves as easily the best part of this film. Unfortunately, the second part of the movie, an exploration of how Jose went from pro soccer player to restaurant chef, starts to weigh down the film, and while it isn’t uninteresting it still seems cloying and thrown in for unnecessary dramatic weight. It could be seen as a story of redemption, but that just undercuts the motives behind the third portion of the movie. Worse still is that third portion, where Jose takes on a not-so-silent mission to convince Nina to keep her child. His motives may be noble, even correct, but the film’s portrayal of it simplistic and uninteresting, almost as if we can’t possibly disagree with the conclusion and need no convincing that such a simple chain of events could lead in this direction. It’s not an accident that the waitress, a Caucasian speaking little, broken Spanish is named “Nina.” The few scenes where Jose appeals to her to keep her child play like a poorly written afterschool special or Lifetime made-for-TV movie, with stark dialogue that Tammy Blanchard, who otherwise acquits herself quite well in the roll, spits out as if she wants to get the monologue over with so they can get back to the better film. Here she stops being this interesting character we’ve been able to observe and becomes Just Another Woman, a mouthpiece spouting the usual concerns of the pro-choice lobby. You almost begin to wonder if Planned Parenthood lobbied the WGA for a writing credit. I spoil little by revealing that she keeps her girl; this is what the picture intends from reel one, and as the day passes it becomes more and more obvious to us. Having such an expected conclusion, though, is not as insulting as how the film gets there, painting a rather cliched picture of the differences between a pro-life and pro-choice thought process. You can see the wheels turning in Nina’s head as she sits down to the family dinner at Jose’s, an otherwise joyous and fun scene that’s unfortunately present for the primary purpose to hammer home the idea that perhaps if she had grown up in such a welcoming home she would have no thoughts of terminating her pregnancy. Her subsequent stories on the beach reinforce this, highlighting the differences between her childhood and that of Jose as she marvels at the difference between experiences that night and her single-parent teenage years. The coupling of the poorly written Roll of Abortion Excuses spouted by Nina, which continue here, and the polar opposites of their respective upbringings serve to firmly establish her as nothing more than a pro-choice straw man, and impeach any other value the picture may serve to offer. That all said, Bella’s worst crime is to betray all of its wonderful elements and subsequently lose your interest. Like Ratatouille earlier this year, the picture sucks you in with the smells floating out of its celluloid kitchen. It further snares you with the grand performances of the two leads and the intriguing mystery of Jose, and even more with his playful family that we end up wanting to spend much more time with. All this is aided by excellent work from director (who also co-scripted) Alejandro Gomez Monteverde who uses the city well as a backdrop, painting Jose into familial neighborhoods and Nina into a stark, empty apartment that speaks to her state of mind. All of this sets up a grand slice of entertainment that slowly devolves, and by the end your mind wanders and you begin to feel betrayed. A subtle pro-life film would be fine; being of that mindset, I personally would be up for such an effort. Bella isn’t concerned, though, with sneaking its message through as much as hammering you over the head with it. In a poorly made film this would be disappointing. In such a well made one, it’s unforgivable. **½ (out of four)
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The Simpsons’ Top Ten Episodes
With the release of The Simpsons Movie on Friday, I was finally compelled to finish my long-forgotten Top Ten list of Simpsons episodes. Of course, the series continues to crank out new episodes, but given nothing worthy of such a list has appeared since season eight or nine, it’s easy to cast aside the latter half of the show’s episodes and focus on the glory days. Honorable Mention: Cape Feare, Grade School Confidential, Homer the Great, Homer the Vigilante, Kamp Krusty, Lisa The Vegetarian, Lisa’s Wedding The List!
pc. 2F02 - 6.5 - Sideshow Bob Roberts
While Cape Feare arguably sets the template for Sideshow Bob’s appearances, complete with the epic rake gag that is the epitome of Simpsons’ gags that shouldn’t be funny but is, Sideshow Bob Roberts raises the bar with the best collection of gags in any of Kelsey Grammar’s many worthwhile appearances. Bob’s out of prison, released after local Rush Limbaugh clone Birch Barlow uses his radio show to drive up Republican ire, and he’s gunning for Quimby’s job - and subsequent revenge against Bart. From the Matlock Expressway to the campaign ad skewing the revolving door prison under Mayor Quimby, the episode, like many to come on this list, is a rapid fire machine gun of priceless and witty jokes, culminating in Bob’s final courtroom outburst that apes “A Few Good Men” in a similar fashion as the rake gag: it goes just too far to be funny, then keeps going and re-enters the realm of hilarity. A highlight, as Homer debates voting for Bob candidates: “Hmm. I don’t agree with his Bart-killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy.”
pc. 2F17 - 7.2 - Radioactive Man
The ad reading “FLIM SPRINGFIELD” says it all: this, like most good Simpsons episodes, is about the little things. Hollywood’s finally shooting a Radioactive Man movie, and Springfield’s unpretentious ad in a trade paper draws the producers to the small town where nothing, not even movie screws, can be marked up too much. Giving Milhouse a front-and-center role is always a good thing, and Schwartzwelder makes the most of it here, from the boys’ hats flying skyward to Bart’s tall boots, slicked up hair and chihuahua dog giving him the inch of growth he needed “plus several feet more.” The ending, with Mickey Rooney taking Milhouse’s role and the producers retreating broke back to Hollywood, is a little weak, but what comes before is nothing but classic Simpsons.
pc. 9F21 - 5.1 - Homer’s Barbershop Quartet
The story of the Be Sharps works so much better if you know the history of The Beatles, but even for someone like me who didn’t upon first (and subsequent thirty) viewings, the episode excels as the best of the old Simpsons standby: the flashback told to Bart and Lisa. Starting innocently enough at a flea market (”Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! Twenty six conversions in A.D. 46!”) where an old copy of Homer’s album is discovered, we learn about the Grammy-winning days of Skinner, Apu, Barney and Homer as well as their Pete Besting of Chief Wiggum. It’s an early offbeat story for the series, more typical of a double digit season than in the middle of the show’s prime, and is basically written off at the end as the children wonder why they’d never heard of their father’s success before. Unlike episodes a decade later that would explore The Simpsons’ unbelievable exploits, this tempered effort sprinkled with the usual tight gags works wonderfully.
pc. 2F19 - 6.21 - The PTA Disbands
You can never go wrong with Skinner and Krabapple, especially since Bart is usually in on the mix. Here the whole town gets in on the fun as the teachers, egged on by Bart’s secret machinations (”Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher.”,) go on strike and forces the parents of Springfield - including Marge - to become substitutes (”I meant the other booby trap!”) Utterly hilarious, from the cheap field trip at the beginning to the resolution of the strike. There are instances where Skinner and Krabapple are better together (namely Grade School Confidential, home to two of my favorite Simpsons lines (”Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.” and “We’re talking about S-E-X. In front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.” “Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down!”) but this episode offers more contributions from the supporting characters and delivers the best school-centered effort of the series’ run.
pc. 2F31 - 6.18 - A Star is Burns
Why Matt Groening took his name off of this episode I’ll never understand. Yes, it is a cheap crossover between The Simpsons and Fox’s newly acquired The Critic, but with the golden script that Simpsons and Critic scribe Ken Keeler turned out, he should have wanted his credit plastered all over the screen. Marge suggests that Springfield hold a film festival, and recruits Jay Sherman to be the guest critic along with Homer, Marge, Quimby and Krusty (”Let’s just say it moved me. TO A BIGGER HOUSE!”) Jay gets to stay with The Simpsons, prompting belching contests, random performances of the Oscar Mayer wiener song and conversations with Marge’s sisters (”You badmouthed MacGyver, didn’t you?”) The episode peaks with the film festival, featuring Hans Moleman being nailed in the groin (”This contest is over! Give that man the $10,000!”,) Burns’ attempt to make himself a god, and Barney’s triumphant look at his alcoholism rewarded with a lifetime supply of Duff Beer (”Just hook it to my veins!”) I understand the hesitation to endorse a network-forced crossover, but the result here is another example of how The Simpsons, in its prime, could do what no other show on television could: turn trash into treasure.
pc. 1F16 - 5.18 - Burns’ Heir
This is one of those episodes that sneaks up on you. Narrowing down my list of about thirty golden episodes into a compact ten, this fifth-season offering stayed towards the bottom at first until I gave it more and more thought - and then rewatched many of the candidates. It’s a rather simple plot, with Burns’ needing an heir to his fortune (since Smithers is to buried alive with him,) and Bart winning the prize by throwing rocks through Burns’ mansion windows (”Ooh, look! A bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.”) Tired of being repressed, Bart angrily leaves his family to live with Burns, only to grow homesick and give up his future fortune. So many classic gags are found here, from the now famous THX open (that they HAVE to run before the movie, but I just know they won’t) to Burns singing “Let’s all go to the lobby” to the entire, hilarious heir audition sequence culminating in Bart getting the boot. The episode has a solid ending, as well, with Bart not just leaving Burns but having him “move to the left” over the trap door in his office, sending him hurtling downwards towards Lenny’s carcass. An often forgotten classic. Now we reach the Golden Four. Making this list, everything beneath this point - numbers five and down - were up for debate. But there’s no question about the top four episodes, starting with the single best gag machine gun in the show’s run.
pc. 2F06 - 6.9 - Homer Badman
Greg Daniels is close to deity, having given contributed to The Simpsons and co-created King of the Hill and The Office (US edition.) Here he does his best work, introducing Homer to the land of sexual harassment and giving us the height of the series’ ability to fire off a billion rounds of funny. Homer didn’t mean to grab the babysitter’s behind, of course; he was just trying to grab the gummy Venus de Milo. Now there’s protestors in the Simpsons’ yard, helicopters overhead offering twenty-four hour coverage (”Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers.” “Hey, that’s a half-truth!”) and the family results to public access television to plea for understanding - only to run into Willie, who has a tape proving Homer’s innocence (”He’s a foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least expect it. He’s “Rowdy Roddy Peeper!”) If the candy convention, with Homer’s slo-mo run from the exploding pop rocks and soda combo, isn’t funny enough, we get the Rock Bottom interview with the clock on the wall revealing the obviously chopped up video. Everything here is perfect.
pc. 2F22 - 6.24 - Lemon of Troy
“Lemon of Troy” may stand out to some on this list, as it’s rarely considered one of the gems of The Simpsons’ run. It’s rare episode that really focuses on the children of the town, as the evil Shelbyvillian brats steal the town’s beloved lemon tree, robbing the kids of Springfield of their main source of summer revenue: lemonade! We learn the origins of the two towns (Shelbyville’s founders wanted to love their cousins, apparently,) and Bart and company go undercover and in disguise to rescue their beloved tree. The interaction between the kids is priceless, with Nelson and Martin stuck together (”Team Discovery Channel!”) while Milhouse is discovered and finds his double (”So this is what it sounds like…when doves cry!”) Bart’s almost captured but evades his counterparts only to find a lemon shaped rock (”There’s a lemon behind that rock!”) and then the tree, trapped in the an impound lot (”The impenetrable fortress of suburbia!”) Homer and the parents roll into town (in Flanders’ new RV) to rescue the kids and the tree, and Springfield triumphs again! While the episode lacks the outright hilarity of most of its fellow best, it’s still damn funny and has a sweet, original plot that makes the episode standout from most at this point in its run. With different landscapes and less contribution from the adults, it almost feels like a different series, and an occasional change can be a good thing.
pc. 9F15 - 4.17 - Last Exit to Springfield
“Last Exit to Springfield” is usually regarded as the best in the series’ run, and when I see that I put up little argument. While not my choice for best episode, is the perfect example of The Simpsons at its height, with a believable, tightly written episode still chock full of throwaway gags. The union contract at the plant is up for renewal, and Burns wants to cut the dental plan. Unfortunately “Lisa needs braces,” which means Homer needs to keep the “dental plan.” He fights back, earning the leadership of the union, and strike were declared. Along the way, Lisa gets fitted for a mouthpiece not covered by insurance in a scene brilliantly lifted from Tim Burton’s Batman, we flash back to Burns’ youth at the “atom smashing plant,” Homer confronts “hired goons,” a meek-voice malcontent causes dissention at the union meetings, and Burns runs the plant by himself before realizing, in the style of the Grinch, that he can’t break the spirit of the union members. It’s a simple plot done in the Simpsons style, and it works more brilliantly than I can condense into words. You just have to watch it.
pc. 9F10 - 4.12 - Marge vs. the Monorail
While “Last Exit to Springfield” may be the best exampe of The Simpsons’ ability to take a simple plot and turn it into a hilarious and memorable twenty-two minutes, “Marge vs. the Monorail” is the show at its offbeat best. Thanks to Mr. Burns’ evil, the town has money to spend, and while Marge wants to fix up main street thanks to “people” driving with snow tires on and pianos strapped to their roof (”Hee hee, look at that pavement fly!”) the town feels differently after Lyle Lanley shows up and sings one of the show’s classic showtunes extolling the virtues of a monorail. While some have their doubts, especially Lisa (”I’d like you to explain why we should build a mass transit system in a small town with a centralized population,”) Lanley wins them all over and randomly makes Homer the conductor, sealing the town’s fate. The episode just. won’t. stop. with the funny, starting with Burns as Hannibal Lector, continuing with the “Lanley Institute” gag and the rodents in the fire extinguisher door (”I call the big one bitey!”,) all the way through the conclusion with Homer using the monorail’s “M” as an anchor (”Think harder, Homer!”) while guest star Leonard Nimoy (”Weren’t you one of the Little Rascals?”) beams away. As Marge details some of the town’s other follies at the end (”The escalator to nowhere…”) we’re out of breath; the episode flies by, providing us with the greatest laughs of the series. This is The Simpsons at its outlandish best.
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Spider Pig
Hans Zimmer’s beefed-up movie version of The Simpsons’ theme is available on iTunes. Worth the buck it costs to download? UM YEAH WHY DID YOU ASK ME THIS. Best part: the drums at the beginning that come in just before the chorus. The strings get a little overloaded at the end, but other than that it’s a worthy improvement as it makes it onto the big screen.
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Waiting
Nine-hundred and change photos at 5 MB or so take a lot of time to migrate from a laptop to a desktop, and with the apartment office still a mess, more stuff to go claim from home and the onset of a cold people are waiting longer and longer for honeymoon pics. The hope is to start busting out albums tomorrow starting with Sunday (since there will be, like, five pictures…if that) but there can be no guarantees, especially if this Sudafed knock-off I got from behind the counter at Walgreens doesn’t do the trick tonight. Damn meth users. I want the real Dayquil back stat. • I’m waiting for the whole Chris Benoit mess to really settle in my mind. I haven’t watched pro wrestling regularly for a few years, but between 1988 and 2004 the industry was a passion of mine. Not necessarily the pageantry and typical Hulk Hogan-stomp-the-mat-fake-punch bullshit that non-fans think the “sport” is, but the more technical and high flying exhibition brought to the table by grapplers such as Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, et cetera. Of course it’s fake, but they can make it seem real, working together to create the illusion of two men fighting for the pinfall. Oh, and who could forget the best technical wrestler of them all, Chris Benoit. The highlight of my wrestling fandom, which I share with many others, was the end of WrestleMania XX in March of 2004 when Benoit, after years of being the too-short, low-charisma underdog, made Triple H tap out with the crossface and won the WWF Heavyweight Title, and then he and WWF Champion Eddie Guerrero embraced in the ring. Part of my lack of interest after that, besides the lackluster matches and inane plots, was the fact that I didn’t know how they could top that moment. Now Benoit’s murdered his seven-year-old son, his wife, and then himself, all in a gruesome, merciless manner. There’s no apologizing for this, or the industry, the life the wrestlers lead on the road every week of the year, and the increasing demand the fans have on the performers who work harder than they ever have on more dates than in history. It’s not easy what they do, sacrificing their bodies; the hits aren’t all real, but many of them are, and when Benoit would come off the turnbuckle with a swandive, his body absorbed a hell of a hit, night after night after night. With every new move introduced and every hardcore match that takes the violence a step further the fans ask for more to satiate their appetites, and it kind of makes me happy that I haven’t been a fan for a few years and that I haven’t given the WWF any of my money since that WrestleMania XX pay-per-view. The fans are as much enablers as Vince McMahon or anyone else in the industry, and as long as things stay the same horrors like this can’t be avoided. No one can say for certain why Benoit snapped, but the combination of steroids, painkillers, multiple concussions and very little time off to take care of family issues is a dangerous combination. All that exists to keep the fans happy, and this has to change - now. Will I be able to watch his old matches and enjoy them like I used to? I don’t know, but, to be honest, I don’t care right now. He killed not only his wife, but a seven-year-old boy. His son. Who really gives a damn about my, or any other wrestling fan’s, ability to watch a Benoit-Malenko match and enjoy the exhibition? • We have Mediacom cable here in Effingham, and for just $60 we get all the analog channels (including three NBCs, two CBSs, three PBSs and a crapload of other locals,) Starz and Encore, a DVR, and 8 Mbps cable internet (which, divided up amongst all the users, is comparable to 1.5 Mbps DSL. But for the price I can’t complain.) Anyway, this is the first time I’ve had access to On-Demand, and it’s the Deal. The ability to pull up movies and TV shows at random and pause, fast-forward, et cetera is awesome; I always knew about it but was never able to experience it. It’s like a DVR, except you don’t have to record the damn thing! We have a three months of Showtime and The Movie Channel for free, and right now the movie Waiting… is playing on demand for the second time (since little else is on.) It really isn’t a good movie, with writer/director Rob McKittrick taking a good idea (making a film from his experience working in a semi-casual Applebees-type restaurant) but he doesn’t have enough story to wrap around his few amusing anecdotes and instead kills time with poorly developed, meaningless characters and jokes about penis games. It’s really not worth much of your time. It got me thinking though about the core story, though, that of Justin Long’s character. His situation reminded me of a lot my few years trapped in retail, particularly at Best Buy, where people were sucked in to their job as a menial electronics salesman (who didn’t make much of a living salary) and often gave up college or abandoned whatever future plans because of the young party lifestyle that the job afforded. Get up late, close the store after dark, go drinking and partying, get to bed by four, rinse and repeat; just killing time at a low-stress job with no worry about real career advancement and plenty of time to party with friends and co-workers seems so attractive that I saw people drown in the habit and waste months and years there. There are plenty of exceptions: those that finish school and quickly move on, those that get fired and are forced to change, and so on. But the film’s story of a young man lost in this seemingly innocent but realistically harmful vicious circle of employment, lackluster as it was, was in part a true reflection of a lot of what I saw at both Best Buy and Circuit City, especially the former. It resonated with me, even if most of it was boring filler.
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Big Old Oscar Theory X
Peter’s Big Old (Basically Useless, Except It’s Always Right) Oscar Theory divides the five Oscar nominees into five classes, of which only one should produce a winner. That would be the “Frontrunner” class, which holds the top two pictures. Under that is the one film with an “Outside Chance,” followed by the two with “No Chance.” Of the top two films, one is a clear favorite and rarely ever loses. Usually the Favorite Wins, though occasionally (1999, 2003, 2006) the underdog wins. For example, in ‘99 and ‘03 Saving Private Ryan and Gangs of New York had SO MUCH advance buzz that Shakespeare in Love and Chicago respectively steamrolled out of the Golden Globes and stole all the momentum. One could argue that in 1999 leading up to the awards Life is Beautiful had been bumped up to Frontrunner (Underdog) status while Ryan was out of the picture, but that is the whole point of the theory: it was next-to-impossible for LIB to win because at nomination time it was in a class that is impossible to take home Best Picture from. You have to have the momentum by the nominations, or else you’re out of luck. Being in the No Chance category is like having a #11 seed in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tourney: is it technically possible to win? Yes. Will you win? Oh, hells no. Once upon a time I saw all five films nominated for Best Picture. Once upon a time I actually saw films. (Once upon a time I actually blogged, as well, but that’s another story…) The one thing I have remained consistent about is my ability to pick the winner of Best Picture, upset or not. Admittedly, it isn’t a relatively hard thing to do if you A.) pay attention to the press each film gets, and 2.) understand that it’s not about which is the better film, but about which film Academy voters are most likely to vote for. This is why I picked Crash to upset Brokeback Mountain last year long before it started to get noticed (read: before the Golden Globes.) I could just tell. That all said, 2007 is 2001* all over again. There isn’t a looker in the bunch; did my absence from the multiplexes cause there to be no more really good films? I would admit personal bias and confess that perhaps my guru, Roger Ebert’s, hospitalization and lack of reviews for the last half (the most important half, awards-wise) of the year just makes it seem like there’s a dearth of legitimate nominees. But I don’t seem to be alone in my opinion. Maybe that’s unfair. Maybe it’s just the films lack excitement…sizzle…whatever. There’s also no clear frontrunner. Shit.
No, I did not simply list them in (almost) alphabetical order. I really don’t know what to think. No film has the buzz; Departed is getting the “Scorsese Will Finally Win!” press, but not as much as for Gangs of New York,, and we all know how that one ended. Then again, this is the first film of his that really doesn’t have legitimate competition. Babel could draw the Crash artistic vote, but it’s not getting the press. Little Miss Sunshine could be the rare populous champion, but I don’t see it. Letters and Queen are just happy to be here. So I guess we’ll go with Babel off the strength of the Globes win and the fact that the Academy likes to taunt Martin Scorsese. But I fear that my nine year winning streak may be coming to an end. Previous years below. Best Picture winners are noted in bold; my pick is noted with an asterisk. Notice how you always find the two together.
* Gladiator sucked. Brockovich sucked. Chocolat was not nomination worthy. Neither was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Traffic was good, but not as good as Almost Famous, State and Main and Wonder Boys, all of which were ignored by the Academy.
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Self Control
So NaNoWriMo. Yeah. I didn’t come close - or even halfway - to my 50,000 word count, but I did much better than the last several attempts. In fact, add my three previous tries together and you’ll get my 2006 word count of just over 20,000, so that’s not quite as poor as it could have been, especially since that was my total just short of halfway through the month before busy schedules, Thanksgiving and a small dose of apathy placed several quarters on the train track carrying the Insipiration Express. I still plan to continue the novel, though, here and there, especially since I read what I had done so far to Emily and she begs me to write more; I guess it can’t be half bad. Perhaps I’ll link to the prologue and first chapter and see if it perks anyone else’s curiousity as well. • St. Louis is covered in snow and ice today, but I’m in Carbondale. :p Didn’t even have to scrape frost off of my car when I got lunch at 11:00 today. • Drive long enough and you run into every conceivable problem. My car started losing milage the last few fill-ups (~340 miles for 12 gallons rather than ~390) and I got a check engine light, so I took it to the old Sparta Ford. They figured I had a bad tank of gas and changed the fuel filter ($100; probably needed it no matter what) but upon leaving I noticed that A.) the car couldn’t shift from first to second gear, and 2.) I was going zero MPH. No. Two days and a changed speed sensor later, I can drive again. Huzzah! Speed sensor. Who’d a thunk. • I’ve seen Casino Royale four times now, and Emily’s seen it five times. Yes, it is that good.
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Counting the Code: 571
I have not been writing. Because I have been writing. The last you heard from me I was showing you my palms and pimping baseball spreadsheets, bragging about the World Champs. Tony’s got the title belt now, the club’s tenth, and I will never stop talking about this. Ever. Except for now so that you won’t run away annoyed. Look at me, concerned with your viewership. ANYWAY, I have once again set sail on the Good Ship NaNoWriMo, and for once there is some success. The program, which dares you to write a 50,000 word novel in just one month (November, to be precise,) has been attempted by yours truly thrice before. In 2002 I had the easiest semester of college ever and only knocked out a little more than 10,000 words. The next two years my word count dwindled down to about 4000, and last year having no plot reduced my productivity to zilch - literally. 2006 so far: 19,822 words. Just off the pace for 50,000. It helps to have a plot - a really neat idea - and to take the time to plan ahead. Most all my writing has been non-fiction, and I’ve always despised the idea of outlining, so the thought of planning out fiction writing did not appeal to me in years past. I’ve learned my lesson, though, and the result is quite good. I’ll most likely post the finished product once there’s been editing and such (you have to finish by December 1, but editing is allowed - and advised. • The Simpsons’ Movie trailer sucked. So did the episode, which bored me so much that I not only changed the channel to the Bears game, but did so on about forty televisions. Literally. I was at work. Football in HD is your daddy. Not that I was really anticipating it…okay, so I was, but in the same way that I looked forward to the third Matrix movie. “Well, it’s going to be horrid, but maybe it’ll be halfway decent.” I’ll defend Revolutions (that was the third one, right? Screw fact checking - you do it for me) to an extent, but it was a shocking disappointment (though not as much as its predecessor) and I fear The Simpsons will follow suit. Going by the old rule that the show has been downhill since after season eight, and keeping in mind that the first season-and-a-half was nothing stellar, we’re actually looking at more crappy Simpsons than good Simpsons, which is a scary thought when you consider how future generations will judge the show. Of course when it was good, it was the best. show. ever. No contest. Even now it’s not the worst thing produced; I know you’ve heard that one before. It’s just painful to watch Homer’s latest forced adventure and think that this is the show that once rocked the Monorail with Spock. But you’ve heard all that before, and over and over again for the last seven or eight years. The rock and a hard place gag in the trailer - definitely crappy Simpsons. If the rest of the movie follows suit… eewwwww. • Three months ago I thought Weird Al Yankovic’s career was over. And now he has his biggest hit ever. Congrats. He rocks in concert, by the way - trust me on this one. • Next time: the ultimate Scrabble scoresheet!
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Salute the Dancing Hot Dog
Emily and I saw Cars three times. Once opening night in O’Fallon, again the next night in Hillsboro, and about a month ago at the Sky View Drive In in Litchfield. The Girl was delighted that they still air their classic concession stand promo, even as admission has doubled from $1 to $2 (although you now get a double feature rather than just one picture.) KETC aired a drive in documentary the other night, and part of their segment on concessions got me thinking about that promo. The original plan was to take in a camcorder to record the video for future generations, but after watching the docu I decided to scour the Internet, or specifically You Tube. While you can’t save the videos from that website, a link on the page leads you to the entire 10:00 video that is of course saved to my hard drive, and will be watched by yours truly way too much. Classic stuff there.
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All White, So Bright
Everyone has their own opinion on when it’s been too long since one has blogged. Some blog every day. Others only several times per week. Time frames certainly vary. Rarely, though, do people blog so infrequently that their front page goes blank. Guilty. A rough outline of recent happenings and events, sort of: • With the purchase of an Olympus E-Volt E500 Digital SLR, the girl and I have the pimp camera and many Route 66 pictures have been taken, some of which are finding themselves posted on my Route 66 site. Others were taken at the ballpark today (seven in a row, finally) and may find themselves to this front page on Monday, my day off. By the way, the Cardinals lineup today scored a run in two innings off LA starter Brad Penny, and reached him for six total in five innings. On Tuesday, the last time Penny worked, the American League All-Stars scored a run in two innings off NL starter Brad Penny. Yadier Molina = Joe Mauer? • I am slightly sunburnt. • We saw Cars at the drive-in in Litchfield. *pause* To clarify, I saw a movie glorifying Route 66 at a classic drive-in theatre ($2 per person) that lies on Route 66 (1930-1940 two-lane alignment) and is a member of the Route 66 Association of Illinois Hall of Fame. Awesome. • I spent about $100 on old maps a fortnight ago, but I can now with all certainty track US 36’s primary route through Illinois prior to the Interstates. Proud?
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