FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD
Emily and I certainly eat out enough to have an appreciation of the fast food joints that line our city streets, even if the Girl, gasp, doesn’t eat ground beef. No burgers. No spaghetti with meatballs. Just seasoned taco meat and a little chili. Thankfully, she loves chicken as much as she loves the boy.
Anyway, here are our top ten fast food joints; Applebee’s type restaurants and pizza places will follow later.
Peter:

10 – Burger King
So expensive! So greasy! The onion rings, stale and average, for some reason attract my taste buds, but as filling as a Double Whopper is, I just can’t bring myself to spend $7.50 on something I can get for a little over $5 at the number one fast food joint on my list. Bonus points for ICEEs and the fast (oh my good lord it’s so fast) service at their western Carbondale, Illinois location, but it’s just. so. expensive!

9 – Jack in the Box
JITB matches the price and the grease of the royalty we just covered, but the difference is the originality. Egg rolls! Mini-tacos! BIG BIG JUICY CHEESY BURGERS. I lived off Jack’s big round, white head during much of college, and though I rarely eat it now since there’s no location close enough, it’s worth the price and the inevitable early death thanks to the grease.

8 – Quizno’s
I joined Jared’s gang long before those cute (not annoying) Quizno’s spots with the weird looking gerbils popped up and toasted subs became all the rage. So I’m more of a Subway man, particulary since they’ve recently figured out how to use a toaster oven. That said, a diversion to Quizno’s breaks up the monotony every now and then, and it’s healthier than most other places on the list.

7 – White Castle
Sliders! Cheese fries! BIG DRINKS! The menu is limited for me here: double cheeseburgers and fries (with hot, sexy, melted cheese…mmmmm) and a big drink, but it’s good and not too expensive and certainly original. Word of warning: don’t drive within smelling range of a White Castle. You will be eating there if you do.

6 – Dairy Queen
Their Brazier offerings do nothing for me, and I rarely stop for a cone, but M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD M&M BLIZZARD yeah.

5 – Wendy’s
Where are all the Wendy’s? Not where I live. Not where I work. Catastrophe. Once Wendy’s was king thanks to their Chicago Style Hot Dogs, but even now, absent that treat from the menu and without Dave Thomas to brighten my commercial breaks, it’s still a great place to eat. Their squarish burgers are top rate, and at some locations the side casaer salad is a good substitute for fries (at others it sucks; eater beware.) Frostees are okay, if nothing to go out of your way for.

4 – Arby’s
I’m so hungry I could eat at Arby’s! I eat little here save their roast beef (which, contrary to the urban legend, does NOT get shipped in liquid form,) but it’s worth it. Add some horseradish sauce and fries w/Arby’s Sauce (read: house tangy BBQ sauce) and YES YES YES. Not too expensive, either.

3 – Sonic
It took me three tries to like Sonic. The first two it came off as blah, okay, but nothing special. Third time’s the charm; it may have helped that my burger was complemented by the cherry slushee that now runs my life. Such a collection of treats, too, even if the fries leave something to be desired. Like better fries, for one.

2 – Subway
Healthy, not too expensive, and the cookies are first rate. I miss the Sub Club (damn cheaters) and to an extent Pepsi products (though Cherry Coke is a GOOD THING,) but there’s soooooo much to like and soooooo much variety. Subway Club! Italian BMT! Yeaaaaah.

Adam Resurrected film
1 – McDonalds
Oh, McDonalds, how you run my life. $4.33 for a large number two with a Coke (or often these days, Diet Coke.) Chicken sandwiches! CHICKEN NUGGETS OH YES! The best BBQ sauce anywhere. DOUBLE QUARTER POUNDER! THE OMG OMG BEST OMG FRIES EVAR! Oh, what a mark I am for the Golden Arches, and how I cannot live without thee. Even the McFlurries are good. Swoon.
Honorable Mention: Hardees thickburgers are okay, but they hit the wallet and are way too messy. Taco Bell used to be a favorite, but only their nachos carry weight with me now; the tacos look like they’re scooped out of a dumpster in the back. Their brother, Kentucky Fried Chicken, is good, but a little chicken goes a long way, so I rarely eat there.
EMILY!
10 – Hardees
Roast beef! |
9 – Long John Silver
Lent! |
8 – Kentucky Fried Chicken
Boneless Honey BBQ Wings! (Boo, seasonal) Twister! Extra Crispy! |
7 – Taco Bell
Emily’s Taco Bell Rebuttal: “That’s only if you get the sloppy hamburger-meat. Try steak or chicken, yum!” |
6 – McDonalds
“The holotype of fast food restaurants.” Premium Chicken! McFlurries! CHICKEN NUGGETS OH YES! The best BBQ sauce anywhere. THE BEST FRIES EVER! |
5 – Wendy’s
Grilled Chicken sandwich with the GOOD sauce. Like the Chicago Style Hot Dogs, Emily misses her Pita. Though now she has her Peter. Close, but not as good with caesar dressing. |
4 – Subway
Cheap and healthy, and SOUTHWEST SAUCE! BANANA PEPPERS! White chocolate macadamia nut cookies! |
3 – Dairy Queen
Ice cream, chicken strip baskets and more ice cream. Like cakes. And Blizzards. And shakes. Oh my. |
2 – Quizno’s
OMG OMG OMG! HONEY MUSTARD SAUCE! AND BANANA PEPPERS! Mmm, toasty. (Peter slaps Emily) (Not really. Never.) |
1 – Arby’s
“Isn’t this obvious?” My, what a mark for roast beef Emily is, in, as she puts it, “its many forms.” Even the shakes are good. JAMOCHA! |