I would like to sub. Apparently, fate doesn’t want me to.

Several weeks after getting everything in motion, I finally get a call from one of the two schools last night. Unfortunately, I’m in church, so they leave a message, and when I finally can call back forty minutes later they’ve found someone else.

Today, sitting in Emily’s apartment, I get a call from the other school (hopefully for something for tomorrow, since I won’t drive fifty miles one way for a half-day of work.) Unfortunately, Verizon, which has excellent coverage overall, doesn’t really service this apartment building, and the call consists of me listening to garbled speech for ten seconds while saying “Hello?” loudly, before the call cuts out altogether.

0-for-2.

Headline on Cardinals website: Wainwright struggles in loss
Headline on Cubs website: Game postponed due to death of Cardinal pitcher

Someone in St. Louis drunk? When a team member DIES IN A CAR ACCIDENT and your game is postponed, IT’S THE LEAD STORY.

All we’re asking you to do is use editorial judgment, not get a timely hit. Jeez.

Between an hour a day on Comedy Central, an hour a day on a local channel, and my season one and two DVDs, I’ve been watching Scrubs, like, practically non-stop this week. This is far from a bad thing on the surface, until I realize that for about an hour after I watch an episode (or two) half of what I say is said in the manner of Dr. Cox.

Especially when I realize that most of what I say during the day is only heard by myself.

If someone wants me to sub for them one of these days, that would be great.

That said, I have gotten work done on my Route 66 site; more pictures, a face lift to the front, and I might even get my history pages written for it before long. Yay free time!

Oh yeah, wedding programs, too. Fun.

According to the letter I got today, the FBI and Illinois State Police say that I am not a drug user, felon, or sex offender.

Well, at least they say I’m not in the database.

So I’ve got that going for me.

Rachel put up this meme on her blog yesterday, and although I rarely do these silly things I felt a desire to quickly put iTunes to use. So here you go.IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend your cool…

Opening Credits:
“She Runs Away” - Duncan Sheik

Waking Up:
“Drive My Car/Word/What You’re Doing (’Love’ Remix FTW!)” - The Beatles

First Day At School:
“When I See You Smile” - Bad English

Falling In Love:
“Time” - Hootie and the Blowfish

Fight Song:
“Working Class Hero” - John Lennon

Breaking Up:
“Maggie Mae” - The Beatles

Prom:
“Theme From Ghost World” (Piano Instrumental) - David Kitay
LMAO

Life:
“I’m Alright (Theme from Caddy Shack)” - Kenny Loggins

Mental Breakdown:
“Traces” - The Classics IV
PERFECT

Driving:
“Down Under” - Men At Work

Flashback:
“Crocodile Rock” - Elton John
Given the first words of the song are “I remember when…” - friggin’ PERFECT

Wedding:
“Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel)” - Billy Joel

Birth of Child:
“Talking in Your Sleep” - The Romantics

Final Battle:
“Do Wah Diddy Diddy” - Manfred Mann
LMAO AGAIN

Death Scene:
“Taxman (Parody)” - Peter Stork
Don’t ask.

Funeral Song:
“For You Blue” - The Beatles

End Credit:
“Steal My Sunshine” - Len

So every year I attempt NaNoWriMo. That’s the National Novel Writing Month, held every November as amateur scribes the world over attempt to write a 50,000 word epic in just 30 days, midnight November 1st to midnight November 30th. Quality doesn’t matter; quantity does. The purpose: get people writing that never would, and give them a deadline to motivate them. They can always edit it later.

My first year of trying was 2002, when I was impressed with my ability to fire off 10,000 words before I gave up about nine days in. The next three years…we don’t discuss.

Last year, though, I had a good idea coming in and planned ahead, leading to a word count of 21,467 before I gave up.

This begs the question: should I continue? I’ve been looking over it and editing a bit, and I know where the story’s going and how it ends (I even have some of the end written, though it’s rough.) My problem is the quantity over quality part; it has to be good for me to want to continue. And being my worst critic and not an avid reader, I haven’t a clue how good it is.

So I’m posting the first thousand words here. If time permits, please read, and comment.

**********

Just a year prior, Tony had first stopped to read the sign along new Highway 51. Passing it a million times heading to and from Carbondale, he never thought much about stopping to partake. After all, he knew the history of that place better than those who erected the marker to honor it. The Winchester Farm predated the town itself and watched for decades from atop its towering hill to the east as the trees surrounding it fell and the village crept towards it, slowly encroaching on the property’s borders. Finally, about a decade back, the highway was realigned and businesses started to migrate east, and what were once open fields and the sparse remnants of forests made way for pavement and bustling subdivisions, a stark contrast to the lush green orchards passed down through the Winchester family tree.

Tony realized that it was almost a year to the day since he’d finally taken the time to gaze at the Centennial Farm sign posted by the state to honor the years of history that had unfolded on the land. Countless generations farmed the earth, driving the economy of the fertile soil known as Little Egypt and fueling the rapid growth of the land trapped between the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers. Transportation and industry built up around this and the myriad other farms, and migrant workers moved in and out of the county, some eventually becoming full-fledged locals. In an area of the country that devoted a majority of its acreage to producing corn and soybeans, this land’s little niche of fruits and vegetables set it apart and gave the locals pride. The Winchester farm stood for decades as the holotype.

Now it was Wal-Mart’s to play with.

Makeshift dirt lanes were once all that led traffic from the new highway into the peach fields that lined central Union County, but the construction companies had already started to lay down far sturdier piles of rock for the machinery. Not three months before the ancient farmhouse had stood tall, rotting away but still noble in its role as a landmark guarding the east entrance to Shawneetown. Rumors circulated throughout the village for months: the Winchesters are selling their land to out-of-towners; their kids don’t care about their community or its history. Wal-Mart’s coming to put downtown out of business. We might as well all move to Carbondale.

Now rumors were truth.

Not three months ago the backhoes came like a thief in the middle of the night, crushing the sixty-year-old residence into rubble in a matter of hours. Residents awoke in the morning to find a pile of rubble, idling machinery, and an Illinois Centennial Farm sign that had been accidentally knocked on its side, an appropriate symbol of the sudden event. The Winchester kids had been too ashamed to destroy their family’s home in the daylight, choosing instead the coward’s way as they counted their money in Chicago.

By noon, someone had taken the Centennial Farm sign, spray painted a red “X” on it, and sat it by the door of City Hall. A pointless protest, Tony thought. What’s done is done.

This was the day the community had been approaching with both dread and anticipation - the day that the Mayor and the Chamber of Commerce would finally stop the secrets and backroom dealings and pass the expected death sentence onto the core of Shawneetown’s business district. Tony figured this might be the day that future generations could say the already crumbling town ceased to exist.

This was something he had to see in person.

The stones of the newly laid - no, make that lazily thrown down - rock lanes leading onto the Winchester property flew out from under his truck tires as Tony pulled off of Highway 51. The turnout was stark; the local radio station sent a reporter, as did the town’s newspaper and the regional broadsheet from Carbondale. Other than that, it was just the usual morally corrupt suspects straining to pat themselves on their backs: Mayor Alexander, his friends on the city council, a couple brave souls from the Chamber of Commerce, and of course several representatives from Wal-Mart here to revel in the conquer and begin the war for the hearts and minds of the community, as if the residents really had a choice in the matter.

Tony heard it referred to as a “rally” and a “celebration” on the radio the day before, but it looked to be nothing more than a well-staged press conference, if not a full-fledged brainwashing session. A crudely printed banner stretched behind the podium confirming the poorly kept secret: “Shawneetown Welcomes Wal-Mart to Union County.” As if this was something to celebrate, he muttered silently to himself, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the front of the truck.

“I’d like to welcome all of you who came out on this wonderful day, as we begin the renaissance of our great community! As you all probably know by now, we are very happy to welcome the newest members of our happy village, our friends at Wal-Mart!” The mayor’s grin slipped upon hearing the muted, scattered applause, as if he expected the ten or fifteen people to somehow erupt magically into an uproarious explosion of joy. “Everyone…” he searched for the right word, desperate to impress the Wal-Mart big wigs. “Everyone here is delighted to expand our city, adding not only this great shopping destination but a number of other great, new stores, making Shawneetown the jewel of Southern Illinois and shopping destination for miles around!” Perhaps three people clapped on that one.

Tony tossed his keys in the air momentarily as he slid back towards the truck’s door; his several minutes there had been enough to let the reality sink in. This misguided tool, elected four years prior on his daddy’s legacy and the success of his inherited tractor dealership, was taking the town in the direction he thought was best: outside commercial expansion, industry, modernization, or whatever corporate buzzword could best describe a sterile cesspool indistinguishable from the next town over. Something utterly unoriginal and uninspiring. Enough to drive apathy into the hearts of its children.

It was just something Tony figured he would have to learn to live with.

It’s way early, but…

Old Cards Rotation vs. New Cards Rotation - Update 1
Tuesday, April 10, 2007

THE OLD:
Jason Marquis, CHC
0-1, 3.27 ERA, 11 IP, 8 H, 0 HR, 1.5:1 K:BB, $4.75 mil
Jeff Suppan, MIL
0-2, 4.15 ERA, 13 IP, 15 H, 1 HR, 1.5:1 K:BB, $6.25 mil
Jeff Weaver, SEA
0-1, 31.50 ERA, 2 IP, 7 H, 1 HR, 1:2 K:BB, $8.325 mil
TOTALS
0-4, 5.88 ERA, 26 IP, 30 H, 2 HR, 1.3:1 K:BB, $19.325 mil

THE NEW:
Braden Looper
1-1, 2.08 ERA, 13 IP, 10 H, 1 HR, 1.5:1 K:BB, $4.5 mil
Adam Wainwright
1-0, 1.29 ERA, 7 IP, 5 H, 0 HR, 1.33:1 K:BB, $410,000
Kip Wells
1-1, 1.38 ERA, 13 IP, 6 H, 0 HR, 2.8:1 K:BB, $4 mil
TOTALS
3-2, 1.64 ERA, 33 IP, 21 H, 1 HR, 2:1 K:BB, $8.91 mil

DIFFERENCE
+.600 winning pct, +7 IP, -4.25 ERA, -9 H, -1 HR, $10.415 million cheaper

MLB TV, just because I live in the state of Illinois it doesn’t meant that I have access to Comcast’s Chicago sports channel. That means I can’t watch the Cubs/Astros game on broadcast, cable, satellite or apparently your internet service.

Of course Verizon’s IP addresses are silly, you actually detect me as residing, on this current connection, in southeast Indiana, far closer to the Queen City than the Windy City or Mound City. So you lose. Now you’ll know how Jason Marquis feels - a lot.

Side-by-side comparison: maybe my widescreen MLB.TV feed isn’t that bad.

SD:

HD:

It’s not a huge difference, mostly because FSN Wisconsin isn’t in as tight on their shot as FSN Midwest is. I looooove widescreen baseball, it’s just tough to watch on a computer screen.

I guess it’s tough to watch any format, though.

Tonight’s Cardinals game on Fox Sports Midwest is apparently being produced/distributed in high definition.

I say this because the feed I’m watching on the internet on MLB.TV is in widescreen with FSN’s HD chyron (the Fox Box is in the middle of the screen rather than taking up the entire width.)

This is awesome for those with HDTVs and access to the feed. It’s less awesome for me who already has to contend with such a small screen since now I get even less real estate to watch.

Don’t get me wrong: I’d rather have the widescreen picture so I can see all of the broadcast. But it’s unfortunate to have to watch it this way, this tiny.