Archive for March, 2006

The City Should Give Me It's Key

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006

I absolutely adore worship West Side Story, so it’s perfectly excuseable for me to dance around and lip sync “Gee, Officer Krupke” while I’m hanging up my laundry. No problem there.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America rip

A Man for All Seasons ipod

20 Years After buy

But “I Feel Pretty?” No excuse! (What mirror? Where?)

Furthermore, there is NO excuse for CNBC to bump up Jim Cramer one hour tonight to make room for Michael friggin’ Eisner, and force me to miss Mad Money. That makes two straight posts with a Cramer reference; no wonder my desk chair is hiding in the closet.

Jim Cramer Says Pac Bell/SBC/AT&T is the House of Pain

Monday, March 27th, 2006

MLB 20062006 MLB Predictions, complete with city of origin (World Series era – no nineteenth century.)

Toronto and New York (N) are overrated. Cleveland is not. Milwaukee and San Francisco are overrated. Oakland is not.

Monster’s Ball film

American League
West Central East
Philadelphia Chicago Baltimore
Los Angeles Cleveland (WC) Toronto
Washington Washington Boston
Seattle Detroit Tampa Bay
  Kansas City Milwaukee
     
National League    
West Central East
Brooklyn Saint Louis Boston
New York Chicago New York (WC)
San Diego Houston Philadelphia
Arizona Seattle Montreal
Colorado Pittsburgh Florida
  Cincinnati  

20 Years After dvdrip

Sorry, Will, it's Number Two

Monday, March 27th, 2006

The cable channel G4, attempting to move away from its video game roots, now runs Star Trek: The Next Generation every night at seven, eight and midnight (CT.) This has been officially classified best. news. ever.

Unfortunately, the rest of their programming is still tripe filler. Not to mention their obnoxious chyron promos, those bugs that pop onto the bottom of the screen on most channels. Most networks spare us, keeping them to the bare minimum, but G4’s are the worst, a horrid mix of light and noise that take up the entirety of the lower thirds. Whether it’s an asian man screaming “Bonzai!” in the middle of a Picard monologue or the NCC 1701-D floating in left to right and firing a very large explosion into the lower right corner, your attention is easily captured by these pathetic devises.

Monster’s Ball movie

That latter effect – the one with the Enterprise – proved quite amusing today. Just minutes before midnight, I flipped over to G4 and experienced the finale of what is apprently the televised version of a car magazine complete with bikini-laden lasses. Instead, G4 featured a low-rent Xzibit The Way of War movie download paying no attention to the technology surrounding him as he brought the camera in as tight as possible on the bevy of near-naked sluts surrounding him. One female pulled her pants down and bent over in such a fashion that G4 was forced to blur the area, lest some fourth grader receive an early education in gynecology.

Road to Bali movie

That’s where the Enterprise comes in.

Since Next Generation was just two minutes away, G4 at this point played their promo bug for it. While the hussy remained bent over, shaking her moneymaker like it ain’t no thing, the Enterprise moved into the picture on the left and fired several phaser blasts…

Right into her ass, causing her sphincter to promptly explode.

The hard, cruel life of a pimp’s kept woman.

I've Got a Meeting with the Bobs

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

As much of a Nintendo fan as I’ve always been, I haven’t exactly been an early adopter. It took two or three years for the NES (complete with Mario and Duck Hunt) to find my living room. The SNES had a similar wait. I purchased the Nintendo 64 thirty months after its initial release, and though the wait for a Gamecube was less, I only officially bought 50% of one, sharing my ownership with a gamer of a higher caliber (and I only bought half to motivate him to buy one so I could play Smash Brothers.)

The Game Boy was the exception. Whether it was pity or a secret Lotto jackpot or just all the trips to the doctor (not for me) that involved long waiting room visits, my parents bought me Nintendo’s handheld right after it came out. Mario Land! Ninja Turtles! Metroid! Yoshi!

Yoga Unveiled dvdrip

Hellboy II: The Golden Army divx

TETRIS!

I soooo loved that game. Over the early nineties I racked up a scary amount of hours (days?) on it, once achieving over 200 lines on the “A” game. Still playing it in 2000, I bought a Game Boy Color (with Pikachu!) to make the experience sleeker. When that broke, I moved back to the bulky original, only to have the battery part pop (read: minor explosion) and render the device useless.

Egads! No more Tetris!

Relief was found in December when I purched a Nintendo DS bundled with Mario Kart. Along with that addictive, WiFi-enabled masterpiece, I picked up a copy of Tetris Worlds for Game Boy Advance, since the DS can play the older generation games. My Tetris lust was renewed.

Now, today, it is ignited further. Now, today, I have Tetris DS.

Blue Collar ipod WITH WIFI.

Now my Tetris is pimpin’ all over the world (if I can make myself sound dorkier and whiter for a minute, I crib that not from Ludacris, but from Jim Cramer.) Nintendo, one million thank yous.

Friend Code: 439331 209550

One of These Things is Really Not Like the Others

Monday, March 20th, 2006

Apparently, there are five leading candidates to be the US city campaiging for the 2020 Games of the XXXII Olympiad. Only one will have the support of the USOC, and have a snowball’s chance at awarding gold.

Your contestants: Denver, Detroit, Los Angeles, Philadelphia and Bloomington-Normal.

Okay.

It’s less stupid than it sounds on the surface. Home to ISU and various IHSA state tournaments, the twin cities have the facilities for the Olympics’ various events, not to mention Route 66 and the world’s only shared Main Street. Only two hours from Chicago, it’s no worse than a Winter games where you fly into a major city and then trek through ice and snow to get to a remote village where the Eskimos run the ski lift. I-55 can accommodate your autos.

Not to mention what a ghost town(s) Bloomington-Normal can be throughout the summer. During my trip to Chicago in June 2001, gas prices started around $1.70 in the south of Illinois, shrinking to about $1.45 to $1.50 in B-N before slamming close to two bucks in Chicagoland. B-N, you see, had no one to buy gas since all the college kids ran home to daddy for the summertime, leaving service stations with excess petrol. A major city like Chicago would have trouble accomidating the overflow of Eurotrash introduced by the Olympic Games, but Bloomington-Normal would welcome a chance to fill a few hotel rooms.

buy Empire of the Sun

Did I mention Route 66? The first Steak ‘n Shake ever?

Of course, the USOC says they will only support cities with a metropolitan area of more than 1.5 million, leaving Hancock Stadium empty for the Summer of Perfect Vision. Illinois just can’t get no respect.

Road H is the Road to Hell

Sunday, March 12th, 2006

OMG BEST ROADGEEK ARTICLE EVAR

I’m serious. I WANT MORE.

MORE!

Marie is Only Six Years Old, Information Please

Sunday, March 12th, 2006

Last year’s championship game left me physically ill. No vomiting, mind you, but shakes and a horrid headache, all for the want of six points. Two Head twenty-footers. Three Archibald tip-ins. Six Brown charity stripers. I spent two hours literally – literally – on the edge of my seat (well, bed) and then collapsed.

I will have no such worries this year. Click below for the bigness.

Dr. Phibes Rises Again movie The Poker Club movie download

2006 NCAA Men's Division I Bracket

Best of the Best 3: No Turning Back ipod

Michael release

Incredible

Saturday, March 11th, 2006

Cars is coming.

Pixar. John Lasseter. Route 66. Oh my.

And it’s release date is my negative-first wedding anniversary – June 9, 2006.

Oh my.

Best of the Best 3: No Turning Back psp download Blood Diner

Steve Gutenberg Gives Chase

Thursday, March 9th, 2006

Note to self:

Don’t watch The Day After while working on scanning photos of your and your fiancee for your wedding website. Especially not the part in the second act where Denise realizes she can’t remember her fiance’s face and collapses into her unused wedding gown. Not fun. Not at all.

Bottoms Up

Rom Cannot Catch

Monday, March 6th, 2006

Oscars: I told you so Timecop video .

Deep Space Nine is on me telly right now, and it’s about BASEBALL. The Vulcan academy chum of Sisko (the Sisko is of Bajor) is on the station challenging him to a game of BASEBALL.

Willie the Operatic Whale hd

I want my BASEBALL.

Cardinal tickets are GONE. Smaller stadium (- supply) + new stadium (+ demand) = NO TICKET (read that in Indy Jones’ voice. Out of the zeppelin we fall.) No matter. The new stadium will be worth it, and I didn’t get to any games in 2004, so will a repeat in 2006 be all that bad? Next year demand will still be high, but less so, and all the seats will be there. It’ll be okay, really.

What isn’t okay about BASEBALL is that KTRS hasn’t shaken up the Cards’ radio broadcast. It’s been the same boring format for decades (literally) and this was the shot to make it sound better, closer to what the Cubs, ChiSox, Reds and, oh, just about every other MLB club does. But, no, exhibition BASEBALL season begins and we get the same crappy interview segment, opening billboard with dry Mike Shannon narration over generic music beds, and then, saints alive, at least we have the dulcet tones of JOHN ROONEY, king of Men and BASEBALL Broadcasters. Good to see something could improve.